I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
