I can't watch pbs sober anymore
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
