YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
