We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was like eating out sand paper
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
