Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
pray to the hookup gods
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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