I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
