I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
