are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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