I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
