I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
