Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
