how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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