guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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