i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
