Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
