Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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