I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
