i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
