I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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