There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
