Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
