Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
