Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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