I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
