I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
