physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
