Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
