my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are we still banned from the library?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
