Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
