his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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