is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
