She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
