Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
