so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
