That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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