I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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