yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
