I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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