So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
