Don't you send me to vm
she was so not down for the gang bang
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
