i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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