I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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