Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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