My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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