So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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