I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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