Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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