a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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