My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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