if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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